Crossing over to 2012

Today is the last day of December 2011 ie the last day of the year.


Some people are apprehensive of 2012.  They worry because of a potential global economic crash.  We all see the signs although some people are still oblivious and want to believe the positive.


Despite strange weather patterns especially in countries where you can experience the 4 seasons, global terrorism and economic crash, I'm quite optimistic about 2012.


For sure, God is working behind the scenes preparing men and women for kingdom assignments.  Just as King David was prepared for the throne and Joseph became the 2nd most powerful and influential man after Pharaoh during years of testing in the wilderness, a new battalion of Christian leaders have been trained in obscurity.  They will be commissioned and appointed in the new year.


This year has not been very easy for me and there were a lot of challenges but I am still thankful because God's hand has moulded me, difficult as it was for me, and I saw the grace of God in every area of my life.


I am asking the Lord for a verse for 2012 which will guide me through the whole new year.


Signing off now, going to church and then hopping over to a friend's home to celebrate the countdown of a new year with wine and high class bread made by the host.  haha..


Will write again.


With Love
Harriet

Sexual Union

We are all sexual beings created by God.  We are either male or female attracted only to the opposite gender.  We are not bisexual or homosexual as some would have us believe.


When the Old Testament talks about a man having sexual relationship with the woman, it used 2 distinct phrases:


1)  The man knew the woman.
2)  The man lay with the woman.


There is a careful distinction between the two.  The bible only says the man knew the woman if the relationship between the man and the woman was legitimate, based on a covenant.  If the man merely has a sexual relationship without making a covenant with her, the bible merely says he lays with the woman.


Referring to point nbr 1, the word know/knew/knowing is not readily grasped as 'know' has a much deeper meaning in the original scriptural context than merely knowing facts.  In Genesis 4:1 "And Adam knew Eve his wife..."(King James version).   Adam had sexual relations with his wife but merely to limit it to a sexual relationship is to completely miss the purpose of God.  What God is aiming at is at the word 'knowing'.  The end purpose of marriage that God has for us is through the union, the man and the woman truly know one another.   Marriage -- Union -- Knowing 


Mark 8:36-37 "What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"


Jesus was talking about the worth of the human soul.  Marriage is planned by God to open the way for 2 human souls to know each other; to know each other to the innermost depths of every area of their lives - physical, mental, emotional & culturally.  This is how D Prince explains it.  I could not have done it better. In the union of 2 persons, some people put all the emphasis on sex, some put it all on the intellect.  But in God, it is the total knowing by one person of another.


When God insists on a commitment & a covenant in a marriage, He is providing protection for each party from being exploited & betrayed.  Any woman who allows herself to be sexually exploited by men without that man first making a covenant & a commitment, she's really prostituting her personality.  This is not just talking about sexual immorality, the woman is desecrating the most precious thing that she has - her personality, exposing her personality to someone who is not willing to pay the price!  It is the same with men.


There is a lot to talk about lust. But in a nutshell, the essence of lust is using a human personality as a means, not appreciating the personality in itself, but exploiting it for selfish use.  It applies to both man and woman. 


Proverbs 7:6-27 (New Living Translation) describes it most vividly.
6 I was at the window of my house looking through the curtain,
 ⁷ I saw some naive young men and one in particular who lacked common sense.
 ⁸ He was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman, strolling down the path by her house ⁹ It was at twilight, in the evening, as deep darkness fell.
 ¹⁰ The woman approached him, seductively dressed and sly of heart.
 ¹¹ She was the brash, rebellious type, never content to stay at home.
 ¹² She is often in the streets and markets, soliciting at every corner.
 ¹³ She threw her arms around him and kissed him, and with a brazen look she said,
 ¹⁴ “I’ve just made my peace offerings and fulfilled my vows.
 ¹⁵ You’re the one I was looking for! I came out to find you, and here you are!
 ¹⁶ My bed is spread with beautiful blankets, with colored sheets of Egyptian linen.
 ¹⁷ I’ve perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
 ¹⁸ Come, let’s drink our fill of love until morning.  Let’s enjoy each other’s caresses,
 ¹⁹ for my husband is not home.  He’s away on a long trip.
 ²⁰ He has taken a wallet full of money with him  and won’t return until later this month.

²¹ So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.
²² He followed her at once, like an ox going to the slaughter. He was like a stag caught in a trap,
²³ awaiting the arrow that would pierce its heart. He was like a bird flying into a snare, little knowing it would cost him his life.

²⁴ So listen to me, my sons and pay attention to my words.
²⁵ Don’t let your hearts stray away toward her.  Don’t wander down her wayward path.
²⁶ For she has been the ruin of many; many men have been her victims.
²⁷ Her house is the road to the grave.  Her bedroom is the den of death.

God says in Hebrew 13:4 that He is going to judge the adulterers & the sexually immoral.  Fornicators are those who have a sexual relationship without the covenant commitment and the adulterers are those who entered into a sexual relationship with someone outside their marriage covenant.  But I think God will judge the adulterer much more severely because he/she has broken the covenant which is of great importance in God's eyes.


Peter & I knew of a decent young chap who died of AIDS some 20 years ago.  He got mixed up with a very bad crowd and worst, he went on holiday with them.  At his friends' prodding, he decided to try out sex with a prostitute in Thailand.  He thought that since his friends had it many times, there was no harm in trying it out.  Anyway what are the chances of getting VD or AIDS for trying it out the 1st time?  Well, he got unlucky.  Peter visited him a few times and within a year, he died of AIDS.  He was only 23 years old!  


Peter's old classmate, a very good looking guy got AIDS too. He had so much going for him and because he could not accept the disease, he committed suicide. His parents were devastated. He hung out with terrible people who gave him the disease. So you see, you dont have to get AIDS from prostitutes, but from friends who are sexually immoral!


So how can we protect ourselves?  


The answer is found in 1 Corinthians 6:18-20.
¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually, sin against their own bodies. ¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.


There are many things we are asked by God to fight & confront our sins/situations face to face.  But ONLY with sexual immorality, we are asked to flee, not fight it.  Run!


We have to order our lives according to God's law.  Accept what God says about the sanctity of our bodies, the sanctity of our marriage and bed undefiled.  Dont sin against our own bodies. 


God is always right and what He says in the Word is good for us.  God sets up fences & boundaries for our good & protection.  If we rebel against it, it will be to our own destruction.  Ip, we have to pray for our mutual friend, if he continues to sin, he will meet with destruction & worse he will not find salvation in God.


Another step to watch is what you allow into your heart as well as what you let out of your heart.  If a person indulges in fantasies/explicit sexual scene, these can warp his/her perspective of what he/she is looking for.  So if a relationship is based on flirtations & shallow or physical involvement, it can keep a person from finding the person he/she is really seeking for.  Proverbs 4:23  "Above all guard your hearts for everything you do flows from it."  

Matthew 5:27-28 says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

This shows that God judges intentions rather than deeds.  When I wanted to decorate my new home, I would already have a mental idea of what it would be like to have it. The same applies to your relationships with people. Thus a mental act of adultery will precede any physical action.  Your circumstances might never permit a physical act of adultery to take place, however, rehearsing it in your mind is every bit as offensive to God.

God frequently used marriage as a metaphor for his covenantal relationship with Israel. Hence, when the prophets were called to criticise God’s people for lusting after foreign nations, the activity was condemned in the same terms as the ‘adultery’ with foreign gods to which it later led.  For people to respect the wisdom of God, they have to reserve their gaze for him alone and abhor adultery.

If we consciously guard our hearts, we will have the abundant life that Jesus talks about.  God is good all the time!!  You will see, Ip, that he is SO real!! So marriage bells ringing in the near future?  Haha


Blog about prayer the next round.  Ta!

Which One Lord?

Dear lp


You see the picture on the right? Dont ever go to monster-com, you might date someone called Vampire instead of a werewolf... Vampires suck your blood dry, if you know what I mean..hahaha .. 


I once heard a man ask a church leader, "How does the Lord guide us in finding a mate?"  The leader's answer was "Commit your way to the Lord, trust in him & he will do it."  That sure wasnt helpful to the young man.  I'm not saying scriptures arent important but at that moment that chap was just asking for some handles.  That's what I will be attempting to do - give you some guidelines but the final say is from God.


As you know already, God is the one who came up with the idea of marriage and He is the one who will find the spouse for all his children.  He found a wife for Isaac, Abraham's son (Genesis 24:11-21).  God was very specific and He told Abraham to send his servant to a place by the well and there he would encounter Isaac's future wife.  


There are some things we ought to take note in finding our life partner.


1)  Cultivate right friendship
Normally,marriage develops out of friendship. If you mix with people of the same faith, same commitment to God, same goals, then that's a great pool & it is much easier for God to provide you a mate of his choice out of the Christian friends that you have. Therefore, keeping an eye on the group you are hanging out with is important.  Mixing with believers is a safeguard against marrying a non believer.


Immoral behaviours & ungodly habits in the person you are dating are red flags. That includes girls as well.  When I was17, I got to know an 18 year old girl who told me about the many things she received from the guys she dated and as I got to know her better, she told me erotic stories of what she did with those guys & even encouraged me to go out with them. I had to cut off my friendship with her as I didnt want to be in the company of her male friends.  


I loved to ice skate in my secondary school days and so after school on Fridays, I would go ice-skating with my classmates.  On one occasion, a young Indonesian guy came to the rink & passed out his name cards to girls he took a fancy to.  After skating, I tore up his card & threw it into the bin.  His intention was simple, he just wanted to sleep around.  Also, guys like that always think they are God's gift to women!


2)  Approval from Parents
If God speaks to you about marrying someone, God will definitely speak to your parents about that potential son in law or daughter in law.  It is so important that you get approval from parents otherwise they will not bless your marriage. I had to break the cursed words (received from in-laws) from a friend's life simply because her in-laws did not approve of her marriage to their son. Her marriage had problems right from the beginning.  


3)  Confirmation from your Pastor, leaders or godly Christian friends
Godly leaders can play a significant role in our lives & we can go to them to seek counsel.  When God places a leader over you, God does give his authority and power to the leader over the members that he is taking care of.


4)  Hearing God's voice through reading the bible
Often, we overlook the Word of God and instead we look at our circumstances or look for open doors.  Remember whatever circumstances or open doors we find ourselves in, we still have to look to the Word for confirmation.  Satan can open wrong doors for you and can deceive you through signs.  A young girl whom I know said she was so wrong to allow signs to deceive her.  She prayed and said to God that the first stranger-man who carried her in his arms would be the one.  It did happen but her relationship did not have a happy ending because it lacked the strong backing from the Word of God.


Some of us have difficulty in hearing God's voice through the Word. After all, the bible is just white sheets of paper with black ink and how can that ever become a voice, the spoken Word of God?  There is only one power that can turn those black ink on white paper into the voice of GOd and that power is the Holy Spirit. We are to be totally dependent on Him.  Say, "Holy Spirit, help me to understand your Word, tell me what I need to know." And then that still small voice which is God's spirit will guide you from within.
Sometimes when God speaks, I hear it in my heart; it feels like my heart at that moment skip a beat, or my heartbeat quickens because the words 'jump' at me. Your heart must be programmed to open at one voice - God's voice!


5)  Wait for God's timing
Rushing into a marriage is disastrous because you will choose a man or a women over the Lord.  We find this is true in the bible.  Solomon's heathen wives led him into idolatry.  Samson lost his eyes because of Delilah.  David committed murder because of his passionate lust for Bathsheba. They were not wives chosen by God.


There is an appointed time for you to meet your mate.  If you trust in God fully, you will not miss that divine appointment.  It may be at the most unlikely places.  Listen & wait for God's confirmation.


6)  Emotions can be misleading
Our emotions need to be cleansed often.  If God is not in the relationship, it is not true love.  What this world calls love is really lust since it is built on what the other person can do for me, not what I can do for him/her.  


Satan can give us emotions or feelings of love for someone of his choosing so that he can split up marriages or relationships.  One of his favourite techniques is to suddenly take away the feelings one once had for his/her mate & give the feelings for someone else.  When satan has successfully convinced a person that he/she no longer loves his/her mate, then he leads their relationship to destruction.


Certainly God can give us wonderful emotional feelings for the one we are to marry.  However, these 'feelings' without God's direction can be disastrous as satan can tamper with our emotions & feelings too. Emotions should always follow NOT lead!


7)  Realise Your Value
Christians belittle themselves and underestimate themselves.  What they do not realise is that they are really criticizing God and his workmanship.
Ephesians 2:10  "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."   No matter what we have been before becoming a Christian, in Christ, we are God's masterpiece. In Christ, we have the forgiveness of sins.  
Don't make yourself cheap, particularly girls in their relationship with a man.  If a young man gets something cheap, he isnt going to value it very highly.  Any young man that is worth marrying is not interested in a young woman who throws herself at him.  Of course, it doesnt mean that the young woman has to be proud but it does mean that she has to live in such a way that the young man can see her value.  It is unlikely that anyone will value you more highly than yourself. So all of us need to get rid of low self esteem and get the facts right about ourselves. We are God's masterpiece; Jesus came to redeem every sinner, cleanse him/her & then set him/her apart for Himself for good works.


8)  Dont Be Idealistic
Some people are too idealistic about whom they would consider marrying.  Since God is perfect, it is felt that you must not settle for anyone who does not fully measure up to the image of an ideal mate. Such persons are too quick to bail out of a relationship at the 1st sign of another's imperfections while others wait endlessly for that perfect relationship that never comes along.  


Im simply amazed at some parents who want a perfect son-in-law or daughter-in-law for their imperfect son and daughter!  


lp I shall write about sex in my next blog.  It will be something interesting for you since you are a new Christian.  Sex is not just the physical union between a man and a woman; it is through the sexual union within marriage that the man and the woman truly discover & know each other in the innermost parts of their personalities.

Love, love
Harriet

The Role of a Husband and a Wife

Hi lp


I hope you have understood the importance of a covenant.  God takes covenant very seriously and those who enter into covenants and break it will suffer heavy losses or consequences.


Anyway, back to the role of a husband and a wife.  There are basic roles for each gender.  I will start with the husband.


The husband has 3 basic responsibilities:


1) To be the Head
1Corinthians 11:3 "Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God"
This implies that decision making & direction come from the Head.  Taking the body as an example, all parts of the body can communicate with the head but it is the head that ultimately decides and directs.  The man of the house has to take the initiative according to God's way of how God looks at the husband. Some men are afraid to take that role as he fears making the wrong decision.  He forgets that he has a helper - his wife!


2) To be the Provider
1Timothy 5:8 says "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."


Don't you think those are very strong words?  A man who doesn't provide for his wife and children is deemed to be worse than an unbeliever!  Although provision is primarily related to financial, it is not limited to just that.  The husband is also responsible for the total well-being of his wife - physical, emotional, social & cultural.  He has to see all her legitimate needs are met.  The wife is to be her husband's glory. and the only proof of that, according to Ps Khong, is to just look at his wife's countenance! Hee...


3) To be the Protector
1Peter 3:7 "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner & as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."


The attitude of some men is that if a woman is weak, you can dominate her but the bible does not think that way.  In the bible, it says that if a woman is weaker than you, you have to honour her.


Also, the husband and wife are joint heirs.  Neither of them can claim the inheritance apart from the other.  Therefore to claim God's inheritance, it will depend on both of them operating together and flowing together.  


According to Derek's own words, he said that "it is the husband's business to protect his wife, to stand between her at every pressure, every blow, everything that would break her down."  If a husband is wise, he will invest in her and help her to reach her fullest potential, which Peter (my husband not the apostle Peter) often says.  If he invests in her, he will receive more joy and satisfaction from his wife.


Ephesians 5 says that husbands have to love their wives just as Christ loved the church & gave himself up for her to make her holy... Love means to nourish & to cherish her like his own body & help her to reach her fullest potential. 


The greatest need of a woman, any woman, is security.  The number one thing that makes a woman secure is a sacrificial selfless man.  The number one thing that makes a woman feel insecure is an insensitive, selfish and detached man.  


The basic role of a wife is to be a HELPER.  According to Genesis 2:18, God said he will make a helper suitable for Adam as it is not good for man to be alone.  


2 ways for the wife to be a helper.  


1)  To uphold
Again, we picture a physical body.  The head is totally dependent on the rest of the body to be upheld & nourished.  However, there is one very important part that is closest to the head & is responsible for upholding the head.  Yes, it is the neck.  The woman is the neck & she should not think it is undignified but should be happy to note that the neck determines which way the head will turn!


2) To encourage
It is so important that the man can look to the wife for encouragement.  Derek Prince couldnt thank God enough for his wife.  There was once he was so discouraged that he wanted to give up preaching.  However, when he woke up the next morning, he felt completely refreshed, ready to start the day.  That was because his wife had spent the night praying for him.  When Peter went into his own business, I had to continually pray and encourage him verbally to keep him going.  He would not have survived so long if not for my constant verbal encouragements which I was happy to give because I want to see him succeed.  In this role as an encourager, the wife has to practise self denial ie when she is feeling dissatisfied with work, home, children or the husband, she has to suppress her own negative feelings in order to cheer her husband up who is equally discouraged.  Well, you  may say that's asking too much... it is, but a good wife will learn to deny herself and think of her husband first - to be his greatest cheer leader & encourager.  If only wives understand that, she will reap good things what she sow in her husband.


Very often, I see the young woman condemning her boyfriend or husband in public, not talking right, not honouring him with her words and not meeting other needs.  The greatest need of a man is respect or honour.  Men are very sensitive in their ego.  When God tells women to honour her husband, He is actually giving her the key to her husband's heart.  Being an equal, the wife can say what she wants to say and do what she wants to do.  But the question is how does she do it?  She has to do it with honour.


I pray this for my children.  For my daughter, she will have a husband who is God fearing and that would cover everything that needs to be covered.  God fearing man follows the ways of the Lord, he is a God pleaser not a man pleaser.  For my son, he will have a prudent wife (Prov 19:14) and Prov 12:4 says "a wife of noble character is her husband's crown but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones."  


If couples follow these biblical principles in marriage, it will make them feel safe.  Marriage is never complicated.  It becomes a mess only when couples violated God's basic precepts of the marriage covenant.  Married couples have got to prioritize.  Our parents, friends, hobbies or sports may be our priority but that will change when one is married. 


A man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife.  If a man can never leave, he will never cleave and that spells DISASTER.   Leaving doesnt mean disrespecting his parents & not caring for them.  It means cutting the apron strings, leaving their negative past with their parents, the ways of their parents and start anew with his wife, a new family unit of his own.


I'm thinking if I should write about how to choose your marriage partner or Prayer as you have requested. Let me know.


Cheers!

The Marriage Covenant

Hi  lp


Sorry I took so long to write but before I write about the Roles of Husband and Wife, I should write about the marriage covenant. This is very important for all Christians ie if they want a long lasting marriage.


I heard Derek Prince talk about the marriage covenant and I'm going to base this writing on his teachings.  It is superb teaching and one I feel everyone should know and understand about covenants.


If people understood the power of marriage as a covenant,it will remove a lot of the mushy sentimentality.  It is possible to have a successful marriage (look at mine and many others which I can show you).  The success of a marriage does not depend on lack of tension or problems but it depends on establishing a relationship which can stand or overcome these tensions or problems.  Some couples who attend the course put 'No Conflict' within their top 5 expectations.  If anyone does that, it tells us that he/she is not realistic at all.  Even a good marriage has conflicts and if handled properly, goes on to become a strong marriage.


The key to a successful marriage is found in the bible and it only works when you apply it.  


God's prophet Malachi has this to say in Malachi 2:13-14 "Another thing you do. You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep & wail because he (God) no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.You ask, "Why?" It is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you & the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."


In Malachi, you can see God attaches a lot of importance to covenants much more than most of us realise it.  The men divorced their wives and ignored the bonding between a husband and a wife that God instills (the 2 becomes 1 person) so God was not answering their prayers.


A covenant demands, first, a total & whole-hearted commitment.  God sets the terms not men.  We may laugh at our grandparents' arranged marriage.  Old fashioned as it seemed, their marriage lasted.  It worked!  Because they understood their obligations to each other rather than running on feelings.  Marriage is not meant to be based on romantic or sentimental love on your honeymoon, believe me, it is different when you are back to reality, that is, face the pressure at work, clean the house, cook the meals, mind the kids - on some of those days when you are overwhelmed with work, you wont feel like loving your spouse but it takes commitment to rough through those moments and then things would light up again.  


Secondly, a covenant requires a sacrifice. It means the taking of a life.
Hebrew 9:16-17 "In the case of a will, it is necessary to prove the death of the one who made it, because a will is in force only when somebody has died; it never takes effect while the one who made it is living.  This is why even the first covenant was not put into effect without blood."


The will here refers to a covenant.  A marriage covenant is the same as God's covenant to us.  God fulfilled his part of the covenant by sending his son Jesus to die for us. His death when we accept it in faith, becomes our death.  Likewise, in a marriage covenant, each spouse lays down his/her life for the other, laying aside their desires in order to serve each other. The husband looks at the cross & says, "That death was my death. When I came through the cross, I died. I no longer live for myself." The wife looks at the cross and says the same thing.  


However, the attitude of contemporary culture towards marriage is "What can I get?" or "What is there in this for me?".  


When commitment is present, it releases God's grace.  Divine grace is an indispensable gift from God for development, improvement & character expansion.  WIthout God's grace, there are certain limitations, weaknesses, flaws, impurities & faults humans cannot overcome.  Without commitment, God will not release His grace until both parties have made that commitment.  Grace is never released in experimental 'marriage'.  


In our marriage, we will never say these 2 things:


(1)  I have married the wrong person.
(2)  I want to divorce you.


It's our promise to each other that no matter how bad our situation is, we do not say these words or dwell on it so we are forced to find a solution to our problems or seek a mentor for help. When a couple stop living their own lives, their marriage will reflect the glory of God.


Harriet

Wounds of a Trusted Friend or Kisses of an Enemy?

Hi Champ!


It's great to know that you are adjusting rather well to Canadian lifestyle and University life.  It is also nice to know that you have found friends to go gym with - Michael, decent cool CBC & another guy.  Close to 2 weeks in school, you managed to charm 2 girls to cook dinner for you??Must be the charming genes you have inherited from me... Hee..


Anyway, I was prompted to write my thoughts about friendships for quite a while since you place a lot of importance on friends. And rightly so since God wants all His children to have good friendships.  There are clear definitions in the Bible of what a good friendship is and what a bad friendship is.


Last night I met up with a young lady who has problems with her fiance because he is spending a lot of time drinking with his friends especially on weekends.  He was a non drinker and didnt go to pubs or thai clubs but since he got to know this crowd, he would very often go out with them to 'chill out'.  She was really angry with them especially with one of the guys who would persistently call up her fiance every week to have a drink.  His friends had caused a wedge between the couple who had enjoyed weekends together just hanging loose, laughing at each other's silly jokes or going out with their close friends.  She had initially allowed him to go.  As time went by, the weekly drinking session had progressed to short trips to Vietnam.  


Funny enough, the next day, I had a business meeting with an older lady.  After the business discussion, she told me that she is unhappy with her husband going on frequent cycling trips with his friends around Spore.  He frequently takes a few days off work to bike in Thailand and this has become a common affair, so much so that he was often not around to take his child to classes on weekends which was his responsibility. 


His saving grace is that he wants his wife to come along but she doesnt like sports. Hmm.. I told her she better like it or else his friends will take away her husband. Unlike his friends, they refused to take their wives along.  I feel that the minute a husband feels that he needs time-outs from his wife at a frequency of more than once a week, it is a symptom of problematic issues in a marriage.


Having said that, it is hard to stop a man from frequent activities or drinking sessions unless he sees it as a stronghold or issue, rather than a restriction which he will then view as controlling ;(


Ps Marilyn said that sometimes these so-called same sex group outings will find strays of the opposite sex attending too.. that's when the trouble starts.  One guy thought nothing about flirting with a gal acquaintance he met in one such outing through SMS and his wife was furious, thinking she should allow him his time & space with his guy friends and this girl popped up from nowhere!  Although he didnt sleep with her, the intention was there - to play around. He flirted with her.


So you see, choose whom you want to hang out with. Dont be afraid to say 'No' to mere man.  At then end of your life, it is God who will judge you not man.


Anyway, this business friend shared her husband's former hang-out crowd was worse. They not only drink strong liquor but also encouraged her husband to dabble in shares to make quick bucks.  As a result, her husband lost a total of 1/2 a million dollars while the rest of his friends lost 1-2 million dollars.  Most of them could not pay up & declared themselves bankrupts. Needless to say, most of their marriages broke up and the men are now divorced.  With that, the group dispersed coz they were never close to begin with.  Fortunately for this couple, my friend was willing to stick by her husband even though he was foolish & naive.


1 Corinthians 15:33 says that 'Bad company corrupts good character'.  Many people make the mistake of associating with the wrong crowd and in the end destroy their own lives.  


The world glamorizes the use of alcohol & drugs.  Even though society tells us that drinking is fun, that people who drink are social & attractive, the Word tells us something very different.


Proverbs 20:1 "Wine is a mocker & beer a brawler, whoever is led astray by them is not wise."


1 Corin 6:10 gives a stern warning, "Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God."


I do drink wine occasionally but rarely do I exceed 1 full glass.  If I know that someone's faith will stumble because I drink wine, then I will not touch it in his/her presence. I live by this verse in 1 Corin 6:12 " Everything is permissible for me but not everything is beneficial.  Everything is permissible for me but I will not be mastered by anything."  


So what is a good friend?  Ecc 4:9-12 says a good friend has a POSITIVE INFLUENCE on you. It says two are better than one and it goes on to say how life is much better when you have such a friend. An example of a close friendship in the bible is the story of Jonathan and David.  They were very close friends and even though Jonathan's father, King Saul wanted to kill David, Jonathan stood by his friend & also warned David of his father's every move.


What about friendships with non believers?  The bible clearly states that the believers are different from the non believers...they are described in terms of opposites: those in darkness/those in light, those with eternal life/those with eternal death, those who believe the truth/those who believe the lies etc.


Proverbs has a few wise verses on believers befriending the non believers. Prov 12:26 "The righteous (believers) should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray"  Having an intimate relationship with non believers is not recommended for the following reasons:


- you may water down the truth of scriptures so as not to offend them
- they can be a hindrance to your walk with God if you are not strong
- you may fall back into a sinful life


There is nothing wrong with building quality friendships with non believers, but the primary focus of such a relationship is to win them over to Christ & demonstrates God's power & love in our lives.


When I was very young, I visited Zouk and other places out of curiosity.  Zouk is not a clean place & there are lots of spirits of lust lurking all over the place.  Places like these do alter behaviours because of these territorial spirits.  They have the right to be there.  I see behaviours altered in my friends when they went wild - it is like an evil influence that comes over a person.  Once my friend's boyfriend told us that he saw a sexy pretty woman with one eye in the centre of her forehead dancing erotically amongst the crowd of young people. That was a demonic being. So creepy!  You can visit places like this once out of curiosity but if you go there a 2nd time, a 3rd time, it is no more a curiosity; you have an intention.  Behind every action, there is always an intention.


Finally, Jesus is the ultimate friend of man.  John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." 


Well Champ, I encourage you to seek out godly friends who are cool, adventurous and yet have the fear of the Lord.  Stay away from friends who can lead you astray. If they fall & 'die', you will too coz you are with them.  Be wise.  Things which a person does frequently will develop into a habit.  Once the habit is formed, it becomes a lifestyle. Once the lifestyle is formed, it becomes your character.  Then you will be what you are by your character.


God will bless you with good friends & you will grow strong in the Lord, useful for every good works.  


Hugs
Mum

Moving Out

Dearest Tab & Champ

Last Saturday, after daddy & I finished a session on Family & Marriage, I ministered to this particular lady who had many past issues.

One impression that I got from the holy spirit while praying for her was that God wanted her to be a spiritual mentor or spiritual mother to the young people whom God will put in her life.  She was very shocked to hear it for the third time.  Apparently, this was prophesized to her by two different people, one a visiting pastor and the other a missionary.  Without thinking, I told her she has not followed up with what God had told her.  She was still indulging in her past hurts for years.  She has not 'moved out' & her condition has driven her son away from her.

Coincidentally, a couple of weeks ago, a close friend explained to me why she took many years to get over her terrible pains of rejection and abuse.  It was her comfort zone to dwell in her rejection & self pity.  In other words, she was 'comfortable' with her past although she hated it.  She fed on self-pity, if you know what I mean.  Self pity is a terrible spirit & it wont let you go. Another outward response from her was anger & she often took out her frustrations on others.  She went from relationship to relationship until the spirit of rejection ultimately isolated her.  It had a boomerang effect; in the end, she got back what she dished out and the cycle of rejection was repeated.

In fact when the psycho-analyst told her to make a decision to move out of her comfort zone & be healed, she cried for 1 night before deciding to go for inner healing. Although I felt it was ridiculous of her to dwell in her past for so long, she explained a hurt person will not have the 'sound' mind of a normal person to think it was ridiculous.  Even if that person wanted to move out, she under the influence of the spirit of rejection will find it hard to do so unless she says she strongly wants to move out!  No wonder we had conflicts & arguments in the process of her being healed.

I am really glad my friend is healed completely today.  Phew! It look a while but there... she made it!!

As long as the person is not willing to say yes, she will still be in bondage, just like the Israelites who would rather remain as slaves in Egypt to live comfortably than travel to the promised land which God had promised to bless them, but, they have to make the effort to travel there and drive out the enemies in the land.

Even Jesus asked that crucial question in John 5:2-9 when He saw a lame man who had been lying at a place for 38 years. vs 6 " When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, "Do you want to get well?"  When I first read this, I thought it was odd for Jesus to ask that question.  Of course, a lame man wants to be healed in order that he can walk!!

Looking back at the some of the people who had crossed my path, I recalled that not every 'disabled' person (emotionally, mentally or physically) wants to be healed. If the lame man is healed, he has to find a job & earn a living.  He can no longer depend on others to give him money.  After all, it is comfort zone not to be doing any work!

That was quite a revelation - the part where the person in bondage has to say, Yes I'm willing to move out of my past and go forward as a renewed man.

Psalms 32:8-10 " I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.  Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you.  Many are the woes of the wicked (wicked here means not following the Lord's ways or direction), but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him."


God takes such special up-close and special care of us.  He is good all the time.

With Love from Canada
Mum

The Fool, The Wicked & The Stiff-Necked Man

Dearest children


2 days ago, we heard of a friend in his 60s suddenly died of heart attack.  In fact your dad just had dinner with him a month ago when he came down to Singapore.


This businessman drank & smoked excessively and many times, he mocked at God & denied his presence.  He was careless with his words especially when he said, " Die? die lah!"


I make it a habit to read daily, the book of Proverbs, & each chapter will coincide with today's date and in one month, I would have completed 31 chapters, alright sometimes, I have to read 2 chapters 30 & 31 on 30th of the month.  For the last few chapters of Proverbs, I kept reading about the fool, the wicked and the man who is stiff-necked will suddenly be destroyed - without remedy.  


And I thought of this businessman who lived a reckless lifestyle and now he is gone & forever in the 'pit of fire' with no chance of remedy.


We have to be careful about how we live coz we reap what we sow.


Galatians 6:7-8


"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows.  The one who sows to please his sinful nature (carousal) will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit (obedience), from the Spirit will reap eternal life."


This is a grim reminder.  Life is short, let's live well so we can stand confidently, unashamedly before God when we meet Him at the end of our lives.


With much Love
Mum xx

Spiritual Rooted Disease

Hey,


I am back again!  


I want to record this down before I forget.  2 weeks before the last July Encounter, I experienced a very sharp pain in my left knee at the side.  I didnt fall or knock into anything hard.  It just happened.  I was already limping but by the next day, I could not walk because the pain became worse.  I rested at home since I could not walk but in the middle of the night, I suddenly woke up with an excruciating pain in my side knee.  It lasted for an hour before I could go back to sleep.  Now I can really identify how painful arthritis can be!


The next morning (which was the 3rd day), I was still limping.  By evening at around 5pm, the pain went off just as suddenly as it came.  My friends said I may have knee problem but I never had it for more than 10 years since the Lord healed me.


Ps Marilyn said that she felt the experience I had, had spiritual significance.  God was saying that he wanted to either heal those with knee problems or deliver those who were not walking right with God at the Encounter.  


Well, Encounter came.  During one of the ministry sessions, I had a sense that I should be approaching this particular lady to pray for her.  She told me about her divorce and how it had affected her 13 year old son.  He has severe arthritis & at such a young age! The pain always centres around the knee area.  Isnt it miraculous that God led me to meet her? I told her I had the knee pain exactly at the same spot her son had.    


This lady has abnormal early menopause, ie, she did not have menses for 6 months already and her doc diagnosed her condition as pre-menopause.  This is impossible as she is only in her mid 30s.  All that bitterness, anger, rage & rejection which is a spiritual state, had caused a physical infirmity.  


I told her that if she wants to be healed and see her son healed, there is a condition.  She had to think about the people who had injured them either through word or deed.  She must encourage herself & her son to get rid of all bitterness & unforgiveness in exchange for their healing.  They would have to get that right with God.  She was willing & although I dont see her anymore, I like to believe that God has done his healing work.


In another session, a lady came up to me for prayer.  She had the same problems - her husband wants to leave her, didnt treat her right, victimized her emotionally & verbally.  It was a long ministry session as her hurts were very deep.  Next I had to deal with her migraine.  It comes & it goes, every day, and it can be really painful.  As far as I know, the spiritual root problem is that it is triggered by guilt resulting from conflict in her life in conjunction with fear.


It is not the conflict itself that she is having that triggers the migraine.  It is the conflict that she has with herself (within herself) over the conflict that she has with someone, God or with life that triggers the migraine, either real or imagined.  So my friend & I helped her to overcome her own guilt because she felt the breakdown in her marriage was her own doing. Just to clarify not every migraine is spiritual. One can have a bad headache because of work or stress but if it is in a prolonged state & if the person has unresolved issues, then you know it is a spiritual sickness.


I think Christians must realise they have to help themselves defeat spiritual diseases. Through the years, God has shown me insights into why people have disease.  It is not that God cannot heal or that He doesnt want to; the problem is that man doesnt understand disease.  Many have been trapped by diseases & are dying because of either a lack of knowledge or just no knowledge at all.  From scriptures & by practical discernment, one can unearth many spiritual roots & blocks to healing.


I am not advocating that one should not take medicine or seek medical help when there is a sickness.  I hope you will never do that because healing will only come when a person has faith & if faith is not there, then that sick person has to continue taking the medicine.  What I am saying is that there is a more excellent way to healing & we must ALSO pay attention to it - the spiritual side.  


For example, colon cancer is believed to have deep roots in bitterness & slander with the tongue.  This disease can also be inherited, & if you were to look at a family which has a long history of colon disease, you will discover family conflict where there are unresolved bitterness, unresolved antagonism & words of frustration and anger.  These can cause damage throughout successive generations.


I hope I have given you an insight into this area of importance.  


Proverbs 14:30 says,  "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones."


OK, Good night children, I am sleepy now.


Love Mum

My Best Friend

Dearest Children

It's been such a long time I have not written on my blog.   Since I am so alert, I thought I would write.

Early in July during Encounter, I taught on the topic Holy Spirit.  I told the crowd that through my experiences with close friends, I realise that my only true friend is the holy spirit. He will never betray me or leave me in the lurch.  Close friends can betray you because people can change over the years and when offences are not dealt with, they destroy relationships.

When I was a young christian, I thought of him as a force because the bible describes the holy spirit like a wind, fire, water, oil as in the anointing oil that we use represents the anointing of the holy spirit.  Gradually, I learnt that he is a person with emotions just like anyone of us.  He feels sad when we deliberately disobey his promptings, do nasty things or say unkind words.  He is happy when we spend time with him or exercise the fruit of the spirit towards others.

I became very close to him as the years went by.  I could hear his voice when I am still and when I spend time with God daily.  Dont even try to understand why God can be the father, God, the son and God, the holy spirit.  They are 3 in 1 but yet, they have different personalities & perform different roles.

I especially hear him clearly when I obey his promptings & instructions constantly.  There was once your dad and I sat in a counselling session in NZ.  I sat next to a lady and I felt in my heart the feeling of grief.  I asked the holy spirit what it was and I heard a voice saying the lady had many lovers.  I didnt think much of that as we left before the session ended, leaving our friends to settle the marital problem between husband and wife.  The next day, my friend told me that the lady was quite promiscuous!  The holy spirit was grieving for that lady.

There are many wonderful things that I can talk about this special friend that we all share.  I aint going to do that coz it will take too long.  Instead I like to talk about the 4 examples of ordinary people doing extraordinary things through the empowerment of the holy spirit.

1) Jephthah in Judges 11:29 - he was a warrior, a judge & a brilliant military strategist.  God gave him the wisdom to strategize & strength to conquer his enemies.  The fact that he crossed many places & conquered 20 towns showed he had tenacity.  This comes from the holy spirit.  Before he did all these things, he was an illegitimate son & rejected by his siblings.

2)  Gideon in Judges 6:34 - his story defies all logic & human wisdom.  Gideon was the 5th judge & a military strategist.  With only 300 men & some trumpets, he was able to defeat thousands of Midianites, Israel's enemies.  This is beyond human understanding.  Before that, Gideon was a timid man with low self esteem but when the Spirit of God came upon him, he became the mighty leader that he was.

3)  Bezelial in Exodus 31:2-3 was chosen by God to design & create all the furniture for the ark & the tabernacle of Moses.  The Spirit of God filled him & that gave him the ability to produce such outstanding workmanship. Before that, I believe he was an ordinary carpenter.

4)  King David in 2 Sam 23:1-2 was chosen to be the great king of Israel and a great psalmist too.  If you read the scripture,  it says '....the word of God was on his tongue and the Spirit of God was upon him.'  That is the way that David gave us all those beautiful Psalms.  Before he became a great King, he was only a shepherd boy.

All these ordinary men could fulfill their commission in life because of the empowerment of the Holy Spirit.  And that will be exactly the same way you will do the tasks that God has asked you to do.  At this moment, Champ has to be excellent as a student.  By that I dont mean you have to be number one.  It means that you give all that you've got and that will be enough.  Of course, Tabby you are now working so you will have to be the best associate private banker that God has called you to be at this point in time.  You dont have to worry about the future for today (present time) has enough trouble of its own.

May both of you continue to walk close WITH the holy spirit and make him your confidante.  You will never regret it.

With Love
Mum