I hope you have understood the importance of a covenant. God takes covenant very seriously and those who enter into covenants and break it will suffer heavy losses or consequences.
Anyway, back to the role of a husband and a wife. There are basic roles for each gender. I will start with the husband.
The husband has 3 basic responsibilities:
1) To be the Head
1Corinthians 11:3 "Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God"
This implies that decision making & direction come from the Head. Taking the body as an example, all parts of the body can communicate with the head but it is the head that ultimately decides and directs. The man of the house has to take the initiative according to God's way of how God looks at the husband. Some men are afraid to take that role as he fears making the wrong decision. He forgets that he has a helper - his wife!
2) To be the Provider
1Timothy 5:8 says "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."
Don't you think those are very strong words? A man who doesn't provide for his wife and children is deemed to be worse than an unbeliever! Although provision is primarily related to financial, it is not limited to just that. The husband is also responsible for the total well-being of his wife - physical, emotional, social & cultural. He has to see all her legitimate needs are met. The wife is to be her husband's glory. and the only proof of that, according to Ps Khong, is to just look at his wife's countenance! Hee...
3) To be the Protector
1Peter 3:7 "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner & as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
The attitude of some men is that if a woman is weak, you can dominate her but the bible does not think that way. In the bible, it says that if a woman is weaker than you, you have to honour her.
Also, the husband and wife are joint heirs. Neither of them can claim the inheritance apart from the other. Therefore to claim God's inheritance, it will depend on both of them operating together and flowing together.
According to Derek's own words, he said that "it is the husband's business to protect his wife, to stand between her at every pressure, every blow, everything that would break her down." If a husband is wise, he will invest in her and help her to reach her fullest potential, which Peter (my husband not the apostle Peter) often says. If he invests in her, he will receive more joy and satisfaction from his wife.
Ephesians 5 says that husbands have to love their wives just as Christ loved the church & gave himself up for her to make her holy... Love means to nourish & to cherish her like his own body & help her to reach her fullest potential.
The greatest need of a woman, any woman, is security. The number one thing that makes a woman secure is a sacrificial selfless man. The number one thing that makes a woman feel insecure is an insensitive, selfish and detached man.
The basic role of a wife is to be a HELPER. According to Genesis 2:18, God said he will make a helper suitable for Adam as it is not good for man to be alone.
2 ways for the wife to be a helper.
1) To uphold
Again, we picture a physical body. The head is totally dependent on the rest of the body to be upheld & nourished. However, there is one very important part that is closest to the head & is responsible for upholding the head. Yes, it is the neck. The woman is the neck & she should not think it is undignified but should be happy to note that the neck determines which way the head will turn!
2) To encourage
It is so important that the man can look to the wife for encouragement. Derek Prince couldnt thank God enough for his wife. There was once he was so discouraged that he wanted to give up preaching. However, when he woke up the next morning, he felt completely refreshed, ready to start the day. That was because his wife had spent the night praying for him. When Peter went into his own business, I had to continually pray and encourage him verbally to keep him going. He would not have survived so long if not for my constant verbal encouragements which I was happy to give because I want to see him succeed. In this role as an encourager, the wife has to practise self denial ie when she is feeling dissatisfied with work, home, children or the husband, she has to suppress her own negative feelings in order to cheer her husband up who is equally discouraged. Well, you may say that's asking too much... it is, but a good wife will learn to deny herself and think of her husband first - to be his greatest cheer leader & encourager. If only wives understand that, she will reap good things what she sow in her husband.
Very often, I see the young woman condemning her boyfriend or husband in public, not talking right, not honouring him with her words and not meeting other needs. The greatest need of a man is respect or honour. Men are very sensitive in their ego. When God tells women to honour her husband, He is actually giving her the key to her husband's heart. Being an equal, the wife can say what she wants to say and do what she wants to do. But the question is how does she do it? She has to do it with honour.
I pray this for my children. For my daughter, she will have a husband who is God fearing and that would cover everything that needs to be covered. God fearing man follows the ways of the Lord, he is a God pleaser not a man pleaser. For my son, he will have a prudent wife (Prov 19:14) and Prov 12:4 says "a wife of noble character is her husband's crown but a disgraceful wife is like decay to his bones."
If couples follow these biblical principles in marriage, it will make them feel safe. Marriage is never complicated. It becomes a mess only when couples violated God's basic precepts of the marriage covenant. Married couples have got to prioritize. Our parents, friends, hobbies or sports may be our priority but that will change when one is married.
A man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. If a man can never leave, he will never cleave and that spells DISASTER. Leaving doesnt mean disrespecting his parents & not caring for them. It means cutting the apron strings, leaving their negative past with their parents, the ways of their parents and start anew with his wife, a new family unit of his own.
I'm thinking if I should write about how to choose your marriage partner or Prayer as you have requested. Let me know.
Cheers!