It's really difficult to catch you to continue our conversation, so just read this to see how God ordains marriage. This is rather a long topic so I'm going to divide this into sections.
The overview of human history begins & ends with marriage. God's emphasis on the importance of marriage is widely recorded in the bible. God was the 1st matchmaker. When He introduced Adam into creation, everything was already perfect in the Garden of Eden. Adam's needs were all met. There was 1 thing lacking. There was no suitable helper for him. Then God Himself provided him with a helpmate. God deliberately allowed Adam to feel the lack in order that he will appreciate what God intends to bless him.
Genesis 2:18-23 "The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field & all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them... But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, & while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs & closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord GOd made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, & he brought her to the man. The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man."
From this scripture, we can see the following:
1) marriage was God's decision & initiative
2) God brought Eve to Adam. Adam did not wander around looking for a mate.
3) God establishes the terms of the relationship & the purpose of this relationship is unity.
There are 2 forms of guidance in finding a mate. The 1st one is general guidance & it comes from the scripture. Psalm 119:105 "Your Word is a lamp to my feet & a light for my path." All other guidance must be tested against the Word of God if you want to see where you are stepping. Since we are talking about marriage, the general guidance comes from :
2Corinthians 6:14-16 "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness & wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness... what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?..."
Of course these verses apply only to believers. In our marriage counselling, people who marry unbelievers often ended up broken, unhappy & disillusioned because the value systems are so different. The non believer cannot understand God's way because she is not spiritually 'alive' so to speak. If you disobey the general guidance & go with an unequally-yoked person, then you will have no right to ask for individual guidance. This is the 2nd form of guidance. You can qualify for spiritual guidance if you are walking in obedience to God's general guidance.
Finally, human marriage is a mystery because it is a picture of the relationship of Christ with his church, the bride. We believers are the 'bride' and Christ the 'bridegroom'. The initiative, the process of preparation are all with God to ultimately prepare us to meet Christ our bridegroom.
Revelation 19:7 "Let us rejoice & be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, & his bride (us) has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright & clean, was given her to wear." Fine linen stands for the believers' righteous acts.
Who then is your matchmaker? Your friends or God? In all the romantic stories in the bible, in nearly all situations, God brought the woman to the man : egs -Rebecca to Isaac & Ruth to Boaz. If you want the best for yourself, you will not settle for anything less.
Love Mum