In the previous blog, I wrote about the causes of rejection. Today, I shall write about how we can recognise the problem of rejection in ourselves & in others.
The PRIMARY RESULT - the inability to receive or communicate love. Have you been in relationships, & in circles of trusted friends,whereby by all a/cs the people do love you & yet in your soul you dont have the satisfying sense of receiving their love? This could be a sign of a crushed spirit.
Also, a person who has never experienced being loved cannot transmit love. Scripture expresses the truth in ... 1John 4:19 "We love because He (God) first loved us.
Hence, if a person does not know the love of God or parents, an inability to love can be passed down from one generation to the next. For eg if a little girl does not receive the love of her mother esp from daddy, she receives a wound of rejection. As a result, she cannot communicate love. She grows up, marries, becomes a mother, & has a daughter. Because she cannot communicate love to her daughter, her daughter has the same problem. This terrible bondage of rejection is perpetuated from generation to generation. Somewhere in the future, this needs to be cut off.
The SECONDARY RESULT
This produces 3 kinds of people:
(1) The 1st type of person is one who gives in : He says, "I just cant take this anymore. I'm giving up, it's no use." In many experiences, this group of people goes through a series of negative emotions or attitudes in this order : rejection - loneliness - misery - self-pity - depression - hopelessness - death or suicide.
Whether it takes the form of death or suicide depends on the emotional makeup of each person. A passive person will ultimately succumb to death - rejection in fact is a contributing factor in many deaths that are attributed merely to natural causes. Often the more aggressive person sees suicide as a way to hurt those who have caused his pain. The inner thought pattern goes like this - "I'll get even with them. Now they'll suffer for what they did to me." Fortunately in all the cases that I've come across where the women tried to kill themselves usually with an overdose of sleeping pills, they were saved in the nick of time. All of them suffered huge rejection from their spouses & their mothers-in-law.
(2) The 2nd type of person is one who holds out : He apparently doesnt give in. He builds some kind of defence, a facade, to cover his inner agony & struggle. He has an attitude of indifference & aloofness. Someone who is building up a defence for himself usually develops a kind of superficial happiness. The person appears to be outgoing, & quite talkative & acts as though nothing is wrong inside. This type of reaction is often the response to betrayal.
(3) The 3rd type of person is one who fights back : He fights everything. His reactions to rejection develop into first, resentment, second, hatred & finally, rebellion which will lead to occult involvment. The resentment of not being loved results in hatred and his hatred justifies his rebellion.
Everyone of these 3 reactions has 1 thing in common. Essentially, it is defensiveness. It is a way to cover up his/her hurt.
I heard a pastor say that deep rejection occurred in many great men of God especially in the lives of those whom God has called to serve Him. It was God's great plan right from the start. As I reflected on that, I thought, how true as I saw how these great leaders, when they came out of their past, impacted the lives of thousands around the world with their testimonies. The enemy senses that great calling too, that great destiny & so he engineers wounding to start early in life to try to thwart that calling.
In today's society, there are many people who are living in a kind of casual relationships be it friendships or boy/girl relationships & often, they are incapable of going into deep relationships. Their loneliness is unmistakable & intense.
If you were to look around you, I believe you will see countless of young people in their twenties who are hungry for real relationships, something deep & meaningful & human. God wants to heal & set them free. But first of all, God wants them to identify & acknowledge their rejection & then call on His healing power & receive His love.
My next blog will show how to apply His healing power to get out of this terrible bondage. This is good news.
Harriet
