This is the last bit about Christian marriage.
As you know, marriage develops from friendship. If you have the wrong friends, it is probable that you will end up marrying the wrong person much to your sorrow. If you are truly a committed Christian, you are not free to contemplate a marriage with a non believer. But if you always cultivate the right friendship, right people with the same faith (not carnal ones), then it will be much easier for God to provide you with a mate of His choice.
Derek Prince talked about a prudent wife in Proverbs 19:14 "Houses & wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord." He said that a prudent wife is a woman of intelligence & possesses practical wisdom, a woman to whom things can be committed & do things with responsibility. It is a blessing to live with a prudent woman acc to him. A man who has a prudent wife is very foolish if he doesnt consult her. The man should share all major decisions with his wife, but as head, the man should hold the ultimate responsibility for the major decisions affecting the family. You heard that... that comes from Derek Prince.
After marrying your dad, I realised that he is someone who protects me against his mother, & sacrifices his overseas business opportunities to be with his family. I thought "wow, was I fortunate to have married him." But you see at that time, I unconsciously relied on God to choose my partner for me, unless of course, God tells you that a certain someone is going to be your future wife. It is possible as in Ed Silvoso & Castellanos. An eg of a noble wife is found in Prov 31:10 onwards. You'll be surprised that the ideal woman is not the retiring, servile & domesticated person. It is a picture of a woman with strong character, many skills, great wisdom & compassion.
I once counselled a lady to leave her lover & go back to her husband. Although she looks pleasant & quite soft-spoken, her character does not match her outward appearance. She was determined to keep her lover & live with her husband & young child if he doesnt mind!! We also counselled a couple who was only married for a month. The wife insisted that she wanted to go for 1/2yr training overseas right after marriage despite our concerns. Half a year later, she came back with a boyfriend.
The bible talks about the adulteress:
Proverbs 2:16-19 "Wisdom will save you also from the adulteress, from the wayward wife with her seductive words, who has left the partner of her youth & ignored the covenant she made b4 God. For her house leads down to death & her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return or attain the paths of life."
For more reading, go to Proverbs 7.
Jesus said that a tree is known by its fruit. Look at the person's life and see what kind of fruit comes out of it. If the girl is an apple tree, she should not produce durians, you know what I mean? Many people like to persuade themselves that the person they are marrying is a believer even though the fruit is not there. However, for new believers, time must be given for the fruit to be proven. Time will let you see the reality of that conversion.
We should always depend on God for his guidance. Derek Prince was married twice & if he had chosen a wife for himself, she would probably not have been the best as he was quite a trusting & honest person. God gave him a 2nd wife after his 1st wife died because God knows his need for companionship.
There is something I like to talk about & that is maintaining moral purity & developing godly character for your marriage partner. Many years ago during my QT, I read about Joshua assigning the territories to the Israelite tribes according to God's direction. There is often an interesting connection between the land a tribe received & the character of the tribe's founder. For eg, because of Joseph's godly character (Gen 49), the tribes descended from him - his sons, Ephraim & Manasseh, were given the richest most fertile land in all of Canaan. Judah who offered himself in exchange for his brother's safety received the largest portion of land. Reuben being the oldest was supposed to receive a double inheritance but because he slept with his father's wives (gen 49:4) was given desert land.
Sanctify yourself with the blood of the Lamb through prayer. When you are sanctified, satan cannot touch you.
Love, Mum