This is my first personal blog besides the one that I contribute from time to time on G12 cell blog.
This is really for my precious daughter who's feeling very dry and low spiritually. It's natural to feel like you are walking in a desert occasionally and my purpose of blogging is to encourage her. That's what mothers are for anyway. I like her to feel that a mother's presence is comforting and I will try my best to be there for her including Calvin.
Just like what my mother did for me. It has been 5 years since she had passed away and it's a sobering thought, and a painful one to realise that I am fully on my own after her death. I used to simply pick up the telephone and call her to ask for traditional Chinese medicines for treating various ailments or home-made soups for my family. There was no way I could give her flowers on her birthday to show my appreciation because she would nag at me for wasting money. For my mother, being with her was enough. Happiness was just that.
Now I am a mother figure to my 2 children, has been for the past 22 years. Frankly, sometimes I feel like a swan, holding my cool externally yet paddling madly below the water surface. The anguish of always having to be larger than life for my children to show that I am dependable and strong can be strenuous. Did my mother feel the same? She seemed so strong...
I'm glad I have a God whom I can draw my strength from and who always never fails to guide me and counsel me even when I lie down on my bed at night :)
On the other hand, being a mother can bring tremendous joy. Peter and I had lots of fun when our children joined us in our bedroom to play. They would jump and play 'horse' on our bed. We tickled one another blue as they rolled and romped on our bed. There were times when they wrote little notes to say they love us or when I received a lovely hand-made birthday card or greeting card for Mother's Day. It was extremely delightful to read their thoughts on paper too, either complaining about some unhappiness or apologising for some wrongs. In my busy schedule, I took pains to collate all the notes in 2 journals so that I can laugh at their childishness with Peter when time permits. Haha..
The journey of a mother is a generative and nurturing one, filled with sweetness, deep delight and love, notwithstanding the pain and hurt that come along as well. That is life!
May all children see the woman in their mother - a woman still growing and learning (no matter what her age is ) who gives her best for them and deserves the best to be given to her. May all mothers also see the need to earn respect and love from their children; to remove the "I know it all" and "Because I say so" arrogance.
The bible mentions there is a time for everything in Ecclesiastes. Yes, there is a time to hold on, a time to let go, a time to say 'no' and a time to let it be. To know how to do all this with graciousness is wisdom.
Proverbs 2:6-11
For the Lord gives wisdom,
and from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He holds victory in store for the upright,
He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just and fair - every good path.
For wisdom will ENTER YOUR HEART,
and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.
Discretion will protect you,
and understanding will guard you.
