Dearest children
We had a DISC counselling session with one of our couples who attended our Marriage Preparation Class which had just completed its 5-week course.
We had our couple-facilitators sit in the session with us. Both the counselees wanted to stay near their own parents' home after marriage and they were asking us for advice.
We asked the facilitators to share their thoughts. Well, for one, they went through that stage 8 years ago when they were planning for their marriage. The husband wanted his marital home to be near his mother's flat for the simple reason that help is only a stone's throw away. However, his wife also wanted to stay closer to her parents' home for the same reason.
After a while, they asked themselves this question. What are they fighting for? Are they fighting for their mothers or are they fighting for their future together?
We need to be reminded once in a while that we ought to be fighting for the people we love, especially our spouse who will be with us for life (I believe). Sometimes, we fight over friends who are not close to our hearts or an ideology which seems unrealistic.
Relationships are hard work. Conflict arises now and then. People problem-solve differently. Expectations arent always realistic. And let's face it, most of us are still trying to figure out who we are and what we need, much less how to deal with another person.
I shall always remember what this friend said to me. A friend of his had this great advice for him when he got married, "Choose your battles carefully."
Whenever I am tempted to tell someone to 'fly to the moon and dont remember to come back please!', I'm reminded of Philippians 2:3-4 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests but also to the interests of others."
I am still WIP.
xx Mum
