Dearest children
Last week, I attended a teaching by Ps Dishan on Thursday morning. He is actually funny when he's teaching in a small group. We had quite a few laughs with him. Anyway, he came specially to encourage all of us in FCBC to do the 40 Days of Faith on Sunday, but that Thursday morning, he spoke on "A Serious Call To Sexual Purity".
Although he touched on many aspects of sexual impurity - homosexuality, masturbation, fornication etc, I like to focus mainly on pornography in my blog today. Unless a person is deaf or blind, it's not hard to notice how pornography has invaded our society. In the past, people used to say that pornography is somewhere out there but now, it has invaded our homes. I am very concerned that porno has come so easily to our children through the internet and parents need to protect their children & loved ones from it.
In my counselling & deliverance, I have often come across struggles in pornography whether they are a male or a female. I couldnt understand how this pornography could be so addictive until I went on a trip with ur dad to Hong Kong about 17 years ago. I tagged along with him on his business trip. On the 1st day after he had left the hotel room for work, I decided I would watch television before I went shopping. I noticed a red button at the top side of the TV which was different from the other buttons. Out of curiosity, I pressed the red button & was horrified to discover it was the porno channel. I switched it off immediately after a few seconds. The graphic detail of that scene was compelling enough for me to switch it on a 2nd time before I immediately switched it off again. I finally understood why pornography can be addictive, it's like something is enticing you to look at it again and if you give in, you will be addicted to it in no time.
Let me just set the record straight here. This was the 1st and last time I ever watched a porno show. Quite by accident, really!
I went back to Spore with a better understanding of this form of addiction and I was able to empathise with those whom I was helping. Pornography dulls your sense of reality, it is not real, the people who are doing the sexual acts are actors and actresses who are employed to perform unreal postures. I have women complaining to me that their husbands made them perform postures which are offensive to these women. Finally, when their husbands do not get what they want, they either go to a prostitute or pornography becomes their primary source of sexual satisfaction which is against God's idea of sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife.
I vaguely remember this man Ted Bundy an infamous serial killer who was sentenced to die in the electric chair in 1989. He was responsible for the death of at least a 100 women, maybe more; he was engaged in compulsive necrophilia (the act of having sexual intercourse with a dead person) and extreme perversion. Although he was brought up in a Christian home with no violence and with lots of love from his family members, he was still addicted to hard core pornography. There was something that is worth noting in his life. His dad was largely missing from his life & even as a child, he did not stay with his dad.
At age 13, he picked up porno magazines with violent images in it & was instantly captivated by them. The appetite for stronger violent images superseded the previous ones. His cravings became more & more perversed. Ted Bundy, before he was executed told James Dobson a well-known Christian psychologist, that the literature 'molded and shaped his violent behaviour'. Because he was brought up in a Christian home, his violent sexual desires were inhibited and it was many years later before he manifested them. When he got tired from seeing women being tortured & murdered in videos, he said there was only one place where his addiction could go - from fantasy to reality. In real life, he would hit the women repeatedly mostly on the head with a blunt object, then raped & sodomized them & by the time he had finished, the women would be dying or dead. He would cut off some heads and kept them as trophies in his home.
He mentioned to James Dobson that alcohol reduced his inhibitions and that he was often possessed by something extremely awful and alien. What he described was a demon of lust operating tog with a demon of violence & hatred. Ted Bundy felt that he owed it to society to warn them of the dangers of hard-core pornography and that children & teenagers who watch hard core pornography may become a Ted Bundy 20 or 30 years later.
Tragic isnt it?
Anyway, back to the class, Ps Dishan divided our group into 7 smaller groups of women and about 5 groups of men to discuss the top 5 things that will mess up purity. I'm surprised that people were honest as we had to send a representive from each group to come up & share what the group had discussed.
The men besides naming a few others like lewd movies, fantasizing, scantily dressed women & others which I cannot remember now, the temptation of watching porno in a hotel room while travelling alone on business trip is a struggle. So Ps Dishan suggested that men should inform the hotel staff while checking in, that they should switched off the porno channel in their room. It's better to do it when you are strong in your spirit than when you are tired out after a long business meeting & you feel weak & vulnerable. Prevention is better than cure is what he is suggesting. I thought it was such a good idea.
Most girls talked about the emotional side - rejected women often end up as victims as they often give up their bodies just to feel wanted or to be loved. Conforming to social norms or behaviour & novels are some women's struggles.
I am afraid for both of you who will have a harder time protecting your children from pornography. The internet is here to stay and it is extremely crucial that children are made aware of its dangers. That's why we have to stay close, very close to God.
The bible exhorts us to flee from sexual immorality not, tackle it in the face. You will be dead meat!
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Purity is the personal decision to glorify God with our body, soul & spirit. So the primary question we've got to ask ourselves is "Does this honour God?" What is it doing to my life? You've got to put your own rules.
There are a few things that we can do when faced with temptation which were discussed about in class.
1) pray in tongues
2) flee, walk away
3) replace it with something else
4) be accountable to a trusted leader
5) dont entertain impure thoughts - do something to take your mind off
6) dont take a second look at whatever is tempting you
7) have casual conversation with the opposite sex, no intimate sharing about your struggles
8) the most important - have a regular devotion/QT & maintain your relationship with
the Holy Spirit -he will convict you
I thought he ended the session with a very useful tip - Maximize your consequences and minimize your pleasure. However, these days, people maximize their pleasure and minimize their consequences ie they dont think about the severe consequences, pleasure comes first.
The other thing that Ps Dishan mentioned was really 'unique'. As soon as a person goes into pre marital sex, everything will be ruined. You will not look forward to marriage. Marriage is like a surprise party. Pre-marital sex is likened to someone ruining your surprise party. How apt!
Finally, Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
Love U
Mum
