One lady banker in her late fifties told us her only son is already thirty years old. Peter asked if he's married. Her face tightened as she replied, "Pleasssse.. this generation, you dont talk to them about marriage, they decide, not you." Another banker feels her eldest son who, by the way, is a genius, is studying in Oxford for his doctorate, previously from Harvard, should be working in Spore instead of pursuing his studies overseas. There are many other stories as well.
Beneath that black suit and evening dress/gown, every family has a struggle or two with their children. The bankers are extremely successful in their careers and wealthy, yet status and wealth cannot guarantee their homes will have a sense of togetherness.
One lady, however, felt that the only way to bring the family together is to have family dinners. I totally agree with her. One way to pull family members together is to create traditions in your home. By traditions, I'm referring to those recurring events and behaviours that are anticipated, especially by children, as times of closeness and fellowship between loved ones.
Food should bring about laughter and warm family interaction. That's why, I feel that our Chinese tradition of having reunion dinner is great. On the 1st day of Chinese New Year, I cook to have my own brother & his family over for dinner. On that same day, my family and I gather at my 'Kuma's (my father-in-law's eldest sis) house for lunch where we have about 30 family members gather for reunion amongst cousins n siblings. A time to catch up and a time to joke and laugh while we feast on real Cantonese food.
Of course there are many other traditions, one of them is Thanksgiving dinner where families gather round to remember God's blessings on their lives during that year. There's the fun Christmas dinner that we have with our spiritual family and their children/teenagers. It can be quite chaotic with the children running around (noise is better than 'deadness', trust me!) and we do sometimes single out couples to do a dance or two or perform some other funny antics.
The great value of traditions is that they give a family a sense of identity and belonging. All of us desperately need to feel that we've not just part of a busy cluster of people living together in a house or church but we're a living, breathing family that's conscious of our uniqueness, our character and our heritage from GOd. That feeling is the only antidote for the loneliness and isolation that characterize so many homes today.
Tabby, you have to learn how to cook well and I'm glad you are now forced to cook in Canada without me around..haha. Food helps to keep family closeness and intimacy for many years to come, even friends for that matter. Food need not be too elaborate. As long as it is palatable, it's enough. If you can learn how to cook exotic food, then it'll add to the fun. Calvin, if your future wife (that'll be a long time to come) cant cook, pls send her for cooking classes.
God has given our family Psalms 112 but I'll just type the 1st few verses. This is the advantage of having faith in GOd :
Blessed is the man who fears the Lord
Who finds great delight in his commands.
His children will be mighty in the land
Th generation of the upright will be blessed.
Wealth and riches are in his house
And his righteousness endures forever.
Cheers :)